Tuesday, September 1, 2009


Hello everyone,

I am on twitter.


Questionable Twatter


That's how I feel about Twitter. I have trouble with the whole thing. I have facebook, email, google chat, AIM, and....................twitter. It's almost a dirty word. Let me explain...

Since Grace the Spot has done an amazing new design with our own little bio pages, (which I will actually update soon) I decided to jump on the twitter wagon. Or is it called a twit-on-wheels? I figured since GtS readers actually read my stuff on the site, and I like the other writers, I would join this global Ashton phenomenon.

If you know me personally, you know that most of my facebook updates include useless information or are loaded with sarcasm. Some of my favorites include:
  • Would it be odd if I wore spurs and a cowboy hat to work so I could rustle up a decent Monday?
  • Can you write your dissertation through osmosis?
  • casts Magic Missile
  • is 3 sheets to the rainbow
  • is an elf in magical clothing
  • is more hardcore than assless chaps
  • is as gay as the baguette is long
  • "It doesn’t matter how you socially construct the grizzly bear; the grizzly bear can still eat you."
  • my hair is in the middle stages of grief

I also like to post contests, be captain obvious (i.e. "I am wearing pants.", "I live in Iowa.","I am a lesbian."), or pick songs that shouldn't have ever been written (and post them over and over and over again). Sometimes I rhyme, write in iambic pentameter, or post words I think are interesting and funny (i.e. pants, groin, moist, hegemony, etc.). I do this because I hate the world. Actually, I do this because it makes me laugh inside. Not a belly laugh, but a small chuckle in the lower reaches of my stomach. It's really more like a smirk. It's only when you laugh, that I laugh. Sometimes laughing can hurt the soul so much that you feel good about life.

Even though I lean more in favor of that, I get really politically lesbian sometimes. There are days where being serious is the only thing I can do. I call those the dark lesbian days. Emo has nothing on me. My soul hurts on those days. All I can do is lament with you or without you. This is why facebook exists. I throw it out there in the universe and see if anyone cares. Why not? We live in a world of EXTREME sharing. I can do it too. You care what I think, right? Ahhhhh the eternal question for all bloggers, twatters, and people who attach themselves to social networks.

Enter: Twitter. I don't know how to feel about you. You are my account for GtS and now Letters from the Lesbian Underground (The Dyke Express if you want to shorten it). Do I live in constant sarcasm? Do I write about my feelings in an oh-so-dark-lesbian sort of way? Do I do both? I don't know. I wrote something in Seussian sarcasm and I feel it was lost on there. Do I try again? Am I thinking about this too much? Probably. I don't care.

The problem is, people on facebook know me personally. People on twitter don't. This baffles me. People follow me and have no idea who I am as a person in the world. They only get what I give them. Will they understand my humor? Will they understand when I am being sarcastic versus dark and gloomy poli-dyke? I guess the only answer is that we shall see. We shall see if they understand. We shall see if they laugh. We shall see if they cry.

All I can do is tell you what is on my mind. Today it is monkeys.

What are you doing? Thinking about monkeys.

Only time will tell.

She tweeted when she should have twatted,


1 comment:

Vikki said...

I love status updates/tweets like yours the best. I'm in it (twitter) for the laughs more than anything else. I love the randomness of the whole thing. It's a slice of life and there's something interesting to me about that. I'm rambling. I can't stop. I didn't sleep enough last night. Or it was the pig lickers. Who knows?