Letter to Ellen

July 12, 2008

Dear friends,

I wrote to the Ellen show today!

Dear Ellen,

My wife asked me to send you a letter in order to both be a part of your new location shoot. She is the most important part of my life and my new wife, so I was happy to do so. Also, I have been a fan for a very long time, so it was not too hard to convince me to do this.

Why do we want to be at the show? Well, let me tell you. I want to give my wife a honeymoon. We got married two days after the ban was lifted and the day after we flew in from Iowa. I am a full-time Ph.D. student at Iowa State University and my wife works in human services providing 24 care for adults with low and high-functioning mental retardation. Needless to say, we were both too poor to actually take a real honeymoon. We are now back in Iowa and would LOVE to be able to take our honeymoon to the ELLEN show! It would be a dream come true!

You might be saying, "why don't you tell us a little bit about your marriage ceremony"...well, I would love to.

We got married on June 19th at Norwalk Courthouse a full year before our planned ceremony in order to make a difference in the lives of our friends and family and possibly sway one more vote toward equal rights for LGBT couples in California. We chose Norwalk because it is near our house and close to where we were shopping for sunglasses that morning.

On June 19th, we shopped in the morning and received a phone call from my mother and father that went sort of like this...
Mom: Dad just got done at Grandma's house.
Stacy: Okay
Mom: Do you want to go over to the courthouse and get married now while we have time?
Stacy: Want to get married now?
My partner: Sure.
Stacy: We will meet you there.

We hopped out of Nordstrom's Rack and took off across Imperial to Norwalk. When we go there, there was a huge tent off to the side and a giant line in the front of the building. My partner and I worried about how long the line was, but I didn't know what it was for. We walked in and I asked if it was the line for the marriage licenses. The woman said no. She then asked if we had filled ours out online. We did, so she ushered us over to the line with the green sign. How romantic was that?

Anyway, there were about 4 other couples in line and only one we thought was gay. That was very depressing, as I was hoping for a giant gay influx of love. We got called to the next available window after the woman wearing the pink stained sweatpants and Hannah Montana-esque backpack had left. They were getting married that day too! What luck!

We filled out the paperwork online, so all we had to do was sign the paper and tell the guy we wanted to get married, get an additional copy of the license, and pay for the same-day ceremony service in the tents. My partner didn't like the idea of getting married in a tent, but I thought there was so much sanctity in the process, it had to be done. We had to then swear we were telling the truth on the license by raising our right hand in front of the plexi-glass window. I almost swooned right then.

We were done paying our bill and were told to exit out the back door to go over to the tent where they would call our number at 12pm. My mom asked if we wanted to request a woman to do the ceremony, but I didn't care, so we just took whomever came up to us.

We were greeted by a very Abe Lincoln looking man named Jim, wearing running shoes and a warm smile. Jim was sworn in to perform ceremonies especially for the big gay rush. He informed us that this was to be his first official gay ceremony, and that he was tired of doing heterosexual marriages all day. He said the most beautiful things in our cubicle with paper wedding bells and hearts attached to the walls under the tent. It was air conditioned, so I can't really complain. Even though the sarcasm is flowing, I could not have asked for a better marriage ceremony. We also found out that Jim goes to the same church that our friend(the pastor for the ceremony next year) goes to. He knows our pastor very well. That was awesome! It was fate!

Afterward, Jim thanked my parents for supporting us in this, as he wish he would have had the same support from his family when he came out. It was a very special moment I will remember forever. We are also including him in our ceremony next year (which we are saving for everyday!) My mother and father, two retired high school teachers, took both of us to Rubio's for lunch. Wooohooo! My partner and I couldn't ask for a better way to celebrate our new marriage to each other.

Right now, we are back in Iowa desperately trying to stay afloat under student loan debt and other bills. We are saving $100 a month in order to pay for part of our ceremony next year, which we are trying to do for under $3500 in California. By the way, you are ALL invited! I am working on my dissertation on the Texas Western v. Kentucky 1966 game, in Financial Aid, and in Athletics Compliance. My partner works at her main job and now does overnight shifts at the Women's Shelter in town. Not much has changed. We still love each other immensely, watch our tivo for the Ellen show, and enjoy each other in the moments of silence and among friends when both of use are at home and not working.

I would love to be able to get my new wife a honeymoon before 2015, which would be about the time it would take for me to save up for one as cool as this. I would also love to be able to do anything I can for her. She makes me laugh, love, and want to constantly be a better person! How could you not try to do this for her?

So, I ask you...Can we come?

Thanks so much Ellen. You are a constant inspiration for me and her. Your honesty and passion for life is outstanding and I try to live as good a life as you have. I even show your coming out episode in my lesbian studies class because you have made such a huge impact on me. My motto is to live openly and honestly. To show what is in your heart and give to others all you can. Thank you for helping me do that by being who you are!

Looking forward to possibly meeting or seeing you one day down the road,

Stacy

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We heard nothing back, but it was a fun exercise in reaching out to those who impact both of us. I encourage you to do the same.

Love,

Stacy